Wow! I can't believe Thanksgiving in only a week away! It's so hard to read everyone blogs at how happy they are that the holidays are here when in all honesty I dread the holidays! It all started two years ago when my Mother found out that my Father had several affairs on her when my sister and I were much younger! He had kept this secret from her for 42 years until two years ago when he told her! I have never had a very good relationship with my Father growing up for so many reasons but have always tolerated him for the sake of my Mother! Needless to say finding out about the affairs did me in! My Mother divorced my Father two years ago and moved in with me and my family for a year! For reasons I will NEVER understand she took him back a year ago! They have not re-married and is not planning on it as far as I know!
I have so much discuss, anger and hurt feeling for both my parents! How could my Mother take him back when I did so much to help her? My Father is a man that has so many issues with alcohol, mental illness and has done so much wrong in his life it's not even funny! I know that we are supposed to forgive just as God has forgiven us for all our sins and I have forgiven my Father but that doesn't mean I have forgotten! It is going to be so hard to have both my parents over for the holidays and pretend that we are all one big happy family when in all honesty just looking at him makes me sick! I feel so much shame inside for feeling the way I do towards him and pray everyday that someday God will give me peace with the decision that my Mother has made. Until then I can't wait for the holidays to be over!