Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Holidays!

Wow! I can't believe Thanksgiving in only a week away! It's so hard to read everyone blogs at how happy they are that the holidays are here when in all honesty I dread the holidays! It all started two years ago when my Mother found out that my Father had several affairs on her when my sister and I were much younger! He had kept this secret from her for 42 years until two years ago when he told her!  I have never had a very good relationship with my Father growing up for so many reasons but have always tolerated him for the sake of my Mother! Needless to say finding out about the affairs did me in! My Mother divorced my Father two years ago and moved in with me and my family for a year! For reasons I will NEVER understand she took him back a year ago! They have not re-married and is not planning on it as far as I know!

I have so much discuss, anger and hurt feeling for both my parents! How could my Mother take him back when I did so much to help her? My Father is a man that has so many issues with alcohol, mental illness and has done so much wrong in his life it's not even funny! I know that we are supposed to forgive just as God has forgiven us for all our sins and I have forgiven my Father but that doesn't mean I have forgotten! It is going to be so hard to have both my parents over for the holidays and pretend that we are all one big happy family when in all honesty just looking at him makes me sick! I feel so much shame inside for feeling the way I do towards him and pray everyday that someday God will give me peace with the decision that my Mother has made. Until then I can't wait for the holidays to be over!

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3 comments:

  1. That sounds pretty awful :( I think we have to tell ourselves that because we weren't a part of the relationship we'll never know what really goes on between those two people. I'm sure she never meant to hurt you by taking him back. I know it must plain suck though. And all the reason the world doesn't stop that.

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  2. Oh honey, seriously are we related? I just posted crap because i've been in a funk. The truth is the holidays are quickly approaching and its overwhelming. I miss my mom so much it hurts and she lives in Montana which is not easy to get to. Her husband and i do not get along and we can barely tolerate each other for the sake of Mom. You know we just do what we can and thats all we can do. Hang in there Chica! I will pray that GOD shows us grace and compassion and patience for those who we have a hard time around. Hugs!

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  3. I'm sorry, that has got to be so hard on you. Just keep praying, and that the holidays will go by without a hitch. At least if you're hosting you can keep busy in the kitchen. I'll be thinkin' about ya :) In the meantime, just drink more wine :)

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